Vegetables Make You Weird

Well, they do.

Certain truths emerge from simply the passage of time and the experiences of life. One of those simple truths has revealed itself as an irrefutable fact. Eating vegetables may not, in fact, make you weird, if like other vices they are consumed in moderation, but there can be no doubt that a diet made up of mostly or entirely (*shudder*) vegetables will cause anyone harm. In extreme cases they will just flat-out kill you.

     Consider the evolution of man. We went from being hunter-gatherers to agrarians, and take note, farmers are not known simply for growing truck crops; they also raise animals for consumption. So while our diets may have changed as a result, the elimination of animal protein is only voluntary when it regrettably occurs. Omnivorous is a term that suggests humans consume either or both, foods derived from plants or animals.

     There can be no doubt that humans are strange anyway. Any species that cannot learn from experience, assumes as true only those facts that support what one already believes, that will convince itself that simply being around salt in a Himalayan cave will promote health, that certain among us can speak to the dead, and that cow flatulence is a bigger problem to the environment than automobile emissions, is definitely already weird.

     What I am telling you is that vegetarianism, or veganism, makes those problems exponentially worse.

     The latest damning assertion I heard from the vegan agenda (and it is an agenda) is that meats, especially processed meats, contain, oh no, nitrates, and that nitrates will cause us meat-eaters to get cancer. The honest truth is, vegetables grow in soil and feed on the nitrates soil provides; vegetables have far more nitrates in them than even processed meats, and no, there is no difference in the molecules of nitrates. The molecules and therefore the effects are the same.

     As humans have evolved while consuming animal protein, our bodies have evolved to process it. Consider this bit from https://healthfully.com/109157-animal-sources-protein-advantages.html

I can’t say it any better:

“Fat-soluble vitamins come to us from fatty sources in our diets. Two of the fat-soluble vitamins, A and D, are found almost exclusively in meat, eggs and dairy products. Lean meats, fish, eggs and dairy products are rich in several water-soluble B-vitamins as well. In addition to vitamins, essential minerals are available from animal sources of proteins. Dairy products are a plentiful source of calcium and phosphorus, both indispensable to bone health. Iron, a component of oxygen-carrying hemoglobin, is easy to obtain from lean red meat, liver and eggs. Zinc, a mineral that supports immune health, is abundant in beef, pork and lamb. Both iron and zinc are more readily absorbed by the body when ingested from animal sources than from plant sources, states the National Institutes of Health. Select animal proteins, and benefit from vitamins and minerals packaged for efficient and ready absorption.”

      I note with some degree of satisfaction that vitamin D has been found to dissolve amyloid plaques, those nasty things in the brain that are thought to cause Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. So if you’re older and concerned about keeping your mental functions intact, why would you switch to a vegan diet? Of course you can supplement with D and it’s a Damn good idea, but as it is found “almost exclusively in meat, eggs and dairy products,” well, there goes your purely vegan diet.

      I submit that it doesn’t matter how old or young you are, vegan diets will make you weirder than you already are as a human being. It will bend your mind to believe that socialism is the inevitable evolutionary next-step in effective government. It will make you think other strange, liberal thoughts that defy all common sense, will promote your own personal intolerance without your ever being able to recognize it in yourself, and will make Donald J. Trump seem absolutely intolerable. I mean, come on. He’s not the first president we’ve had who had absolutely no tact. There was “Give ‘em hell Harry” Truman.

      In closing, let me tell you that I’ve seen these things happen, over and over again. The only consolation vegetarians might claim is that it doesn’t seem to overtly damage their sexuality. Well, maybe I’m wrong about that one too. I won’t even comment on sugar, except to point out that every cell in your body needs it to survive. No vegetarian would ever admit to or agree with that, although it’s a scientific fact.

      Last crazy thing I will mention, electric automobiles actually enlarge your carbon footprint, or it will, as long as the majority of our generated power uses fossil fuels to generate it. That is because there is a very significant loss of efficiency each time that energy is converted, first as heat to steam, then to mechanical energy to generate the electricity, then as it’s transmitted and transformed over distances to consumers, and then as it is used to charge batteries; and lastly, to be converted back to mechanical energy by electric motors when we drive our cars. It has to be something like less than 5% overall efficiency. You won’t find a vegan who will ever acknowledge such things. I rest my case.

      I know there will be some who will read this and just seethe. It’s really not your fault, you know. All you really need to set things right is a nice, juicy ribeye steak. Regularly.

                                                                                                                                                     - Ben