The Lady Bug

They aren't all ladies.

I watched two pretty ladybugs
Upon a pretty plant,
And in the morning's quiet,
I could hear her rant.

The bug that she was talkin' to
Out late the night before
Had been drinkin' and carousin'
But, also, somethin' more.

Now I was there at Kelsey's,
But the bug, I did not see.
Seems his flaws and judgments
Was a awful lot like me.

There was this pretty ladybug
And she liked him pretty much,
In spite of all his drinkin',
A-stumblin' round an such.

Instead of goin' home, you see
He left the bar with her.
The stuff that happent after that,
Was almost 'bout a blur.

So, lady bug was yellin'
In her little squeaky voice,
An' the guy-bug was a-squirmin'.
As if, he had a choice.

But what came next surprised me,
Bless his naked little soul,
She flipped his ass right over,
And she ate that sucker whole.

I rubbed my bleary eyes,
I had never seen such strife
An' you can surely bet a buck
The eater was his wife.

Last argument we had,
In her eyes, I saw a glint.
Might seem pretty bad, but man,
I can take a hint.

I'm sneakin' home an' packin'
Thinkin' 'bout th' attack.
An' one thing is for certain,
I ain't never comin' back!

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