Mission Terminated

Parting was such sweet sorrow.

“You think I’m an idiot, don’t you?”

The pointed question was directed across the table.

“You think I made all of that up, for some reason. To get attention, or whatever.”

“I never said that.”

“Well, it’s completely true! This planet has aggressive plant life! It moves, and attacks!”

“Were you attacked by it, Commander?”

“Yes. Yes I was.”

“Did it kill you, Sir?”

“I’m afraid it will. Yes, I think so.”

“Why, you’re not dead yet?”

“Almost. Look, say goodbye to my family for me, will you?”

“Sir? Sir?”

Commander Nils Bensen tried, just one more time to turn over. Just try. If only he could roll. This wasn’t entirely unpleasant, except that he couldn’t move. That part of it was just, unacceptable. Surely this was just a bad dream. Like the guy he’d just been talking to...

He had already stopped breathing, but he wasn’t aware of that. Death would come quickly, but to him, it would take an entire day. Already, sharp spikes had penetrated his body and mixing of fluids had begun. The sedative effect of the injected digestive juices had done their work.

Meanwhile, Nils was back on Earth some ten years earlier, traveling with his family.

“Annie, are we ready to stop to eat? It’s a ways to the beach yet.”

“Sure honey, whenever you’re ready for a break. Devin! Leave her be!”

Slowly, ever so slowly, Nils’ organic self was being consumed.

La, la, la, la.

Aaaahhh.

Pleasant. Peaceful.

Ouch. Watch it, plant. That’s my peter. Watchoodoin? Oh my sweet Lord…

Uhh uh! Ooo-oooo

Two men fully-attired in pressure-tight suits approached the native jungle on planet Beta. Before them, a tangle of vegetation, looking like giant Venus flytraps, was arrayed.

“Bob, stay back. Look. At the base of that plant.”

“My God, it’s the Commander’s suit and helmet.”

Both men were silent for a few moments.

“Well at least we know what happened to him.”

*snatch*

“Bob! Bob!” The remaining man ran all around the plant, looking for a way to pry the clamshell apart and to free his shipmate. Everything depended on there being room for just one man, inside that vegetative clamshell.

But, there was plenty of room for two.

The mission was not a complete failure, as the disappearance of the crew clued settlers that Beta3 was to be avoided. And, all three men had been registered Democrats, so, no loss. Other than the ship, which, as is typical, was built by Republicans.

And thus, we learn.

*******************************