If I Were Omnipotent

I have to get serious, really soon. I'm fighting it. Written years ago...

If I Were Omnipotent

- Benjamin Trayne

If I were omnipotent, I wouldn't let anybody else become it, too.

The first thing I would do upon achieving omnipotence would be to get a closer look at everything. I wanna know, like, everything that there is to know. Like, what do all of the pretty pictures of galaxies and nebulae really look like, if you can really see the gamma rays? What do they feel like? Do they have a smell? I sure hope it's a good smell. If it isn't, I'll make them all smell like mockorange blossoms, 'cause they're awesome.

I would take a real hard look at the idea that there has to be ugliness for there to be beauty. If it isn't necessarily true after all, that will probably eliminate you.

I would most likely destroy, in a way that prevents its re-invention, all computer-based social media. Seriously, this crap is like, make-believe. Go out and meet someone. Even the stalkers are following around 54-year-old fat, bald guys thinking they are chasing some 19-year-old chick.

I would eat and drink anything I wanted, and not get fat, or too drunk. Of course, I would decide what too drunk was. And I would let myself get arrested, just so I could walk through the bars and thumb my nose at the “authorities”. Eat that, shitheads.

Maybe it would become boring after a while, sailing around faster than the speed of light, messing with peoples' heads, doing whatever I want to do and appearing out of thin air to scare the hell out of people I don't like.

But personally, I think it would take some time. If it turns out, that time means anything to us omnipotent beings.

After a while, I'd have to go and create something, just to see what happens to it.

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