Got Myself a Dog
Ol’ Jake he weren’t no one’s friend, especially, of me
He lived up on the mountain, cuz he thot that he was free
An’ no one knows just how it goes, where among the trees
You lives alone an’ gnaws a bone, an’ dreams of what can’t be.
Oh Jake, ol’ Jake, he lived on snakes, an possums an’ the like
Till one fine day he seed a way to make his lucky strike.
He went to town, all the way down, to get him some supplies
And there before him, on the street, before his very eyes
A armored car wif doors swung wide, an’ cash was there, you mind
An Jake was more’n tempted, not to leave that cash behind.
The fack was, someone was right there, a-loadin’ it jus’ fine
Jake snuck up an’ clocked him, an’ what was yours is mine.
Away, ho, ther’ ya go, Jake made off fer fair
An all that pretty money went from here to over there.
Now I ain’t much fer honesty, that stuff is a disease
But I seed Jake a-grabbin’ it, an’ runnin’ fer the trees.
I follered ‘im an saw him, bein’ stealthy as you please,
An’ then I watched him stash it, underneath some fallen leaves.
Away, ho, there ya go, Jake made off fer fair
An all that pretty money went from here to over there.
Now I had it in my mind, as I watched ol’ Jake that day
I would go and get that cash, and I’d carry it away.
But then I watched a big ol’ bear, a-trudgin’ through them trees
He stopped, sniffed the air, and then vanished ‘neath the leaves.
So, that’s why Jake, he stashed it there. It’s an abandoned mine,
A place beneath the surface, left behind by Father Time.
So now that money’s guarded by a big ol’ stinkin’ bear.
An’ surely Jake din’t know it. He just knowed the mine was there.
So I ambled off on my way home, to get my daddy’s gun.
Cuz I was gonna fight fer it, might even have some fun.
When I got back, that bear was just a chewin’ on ol’ Jake.
Thot I, At least you’re out, now it’s careful aim I’ll take.
I kilt that bear, with one good shot, I shot ‘im in the head.
An’ poor ol’ Jake an’ that ol’ bear was both completely dead.
Now Jake he always had hisself a big ol’ raccoon hound,
And so I went an’ got him, he’d be good to have around.
I still ain’t touched the money. I thot, what good’s it do??
I din’t lift it, nor put it there, now I ain’t spent it, too.
So I’m sittin’ by the fire, got my ass upon this log
Writin’ poetry. It’s somethin’. Now, I got myself a dog.
Away, ho, ther’ ya go, Jake made off fer fair
An all that pretty money went from here to over there.
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Awesome!
Sounds a lot like Robert Service!